The reality is, everyone won't stay natural...and that's perfectly okay.

Good morning! So I've noticed lately that there has been buzz from different forums, youtube channels, blogs, and various other forms of media, that the whole team natural vs team relaxed is causing "separation" in the black community. I'm sooo tired of hearing, reading, and talking about this with people. This is a slight rant and I surely don't want to bore you with my thoughts but I have a little something to say about it. We (as in our ancestors, our community, the generation we grew up in, etc) black folks have been struggling for so long, with so many things, just by "being" in our own country. I won't go there, but with this hair care revolution that's going on, the information we have is from our own research, our own digging, our own question asking, our own concoctions in the kitchen, our own barrier breaking, etc. No one gave this confidence to us, we gave it to ourselves! Wake up people! We are giving it to each other when we say to a fellow sista "love your hair!" or when that 55+ year old grown black man in a business suit, walks by me, while walking down the corridor in my office building at work, and says "Love the hair!" Sure, Madam CJ Walker did an abundance for our hair community. The conk, hot comb, 70s black pride movement, jherri curl, relaxer, etc, have given us the foundation for what our hair can do, can't do and what we shouldn't do to it, depending on our goals of what we want for it. I have been researching our hair care for going on 15 years, and I'm not bored YET. What I am bored with, is the constant, "we need to stop doing this and start doing that", "Nobody needs to go back to the creamy crack", "why would anyone relax their hair?" All the while being natural for five minutes and now you are an expert. I'm sick of it. HEALTHY hair care is my passion, I don't give a dang how one chooses to wear it. Find what works for YOU and yours. What we need to do, is what suits OUR lifestyle. What we need to do, is stop allowing the media to shape our opinions of what WE should do, be, look like, etc. What we need to do, is teach our little girls that wearing a weave is perfectly fine, but make sure your hair underneath, is moisturized and doesn't look like a bird's nest, relaxed OR natural. What we need to do is teach our little girls some self confidence and not that you can't leave the house because "yo hair ain't done". My hair is natural, yes, however, I texturized (relaxed) my hair in 2009 because it's what I wanted to do. I started transitioning again in 2011 and in Feb 2015, I will be 4 years natural again (previously natural from 2001 to 2009). The youtube/twitter/facebook media wasn't as big back then, as it is now, and the only sources I and many other women had, were my books, printouts, and fellow forum friends. Those books, printouts and forum friends helped me to understand(way back then) that there are those who want chemical free natural virgin hair, and there are those who want relaxed straightened smooth hair. My good friend is texlaxed and she loves it. Not only has she learned how to take care of it,and it's thriving (currently bra strap length, thick and healthy), but she has learned that she doesn't have the time in her life right now, TO experiment with transitioning, going natural, etc. She and I talk on a regular basis about this stuff. Because of the nearly 15 years of info under my belt, she's not intimidated by the conversation of haircare, relaxed or natural. Because we work together every day, we have lunch together, we keep each other's kids, etc, hair becomes part of our convo. The average person, however, would hear us talking and immediately are like "that's too much", "ain't nobody got time", "this natural hair stuff is too complicated". And I agree! The whole media take on it has made it just that, complicated. Cray cray part? It's not. It's so simple that I could just cry at everything I'm seeing going on. Hence my blog name. I love history and if there is nothing else that you remember from this post, remember that history ALWAYS repeats itself and those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. I say this because we have SO MUCH good information out here about hair care, in 2014, but there's still plenty of bad info. We still have product junkyism, people still looking for the magic in a bottle. People trying to achieve the perfect twistout, braidout, etc instead of rocking that chunky fro, non-defined hair, or low kinky bun or puff. People who are relaxed have learned that wearing a no heat, flat twistout and/or braidout is the BUSINESS...just to see wand curling irons fly off the shelves like those curls are going to last longer than 5 minutes. Many of us who started out on hair forums, were trying to figure out how to stop spending so much money and not to mention time, in the salon, etc. We wanted to find ways to wear our hair without the use of so many heat tools, etc. Before the age of internet video, we had to endure the bad hair days, experiment, making it do what it do. All we had was curl activator, gel, shampoo, simple conditioners, etc. Now there are so many "natural" hair puddings, custards, souffles, butters, etc that I can't even keep up. I sometimes feel bad for many of those who knew nothing before youtube. Don't get me wrong, I am a youtube fanatic, but some vids are just too much. About 7 or 8 years ago, we used to joke that the beauty supply stores would start selling our own kinky texture to us and we would buy it. Sure enough, there's more Marley hair, kinky straight, etc, on the shelves, and the prices are ridiculous! I could go on and on about what I see these days, but I won't. Maybe I'll write a book about it lol. It's way too much to type right now. I need for us to pump the brakes, breathe, and think about what we want and what fits our lifestyles in regard to hair care. I love healthy hair, relaxed or natural. I'm even thinking about changing my blog name. I need for us to know that this hair thing doesn't have to take over our lives. Our options are endless. We can weave it, cut it, grow it, color it, do it everyday, do it once a week, leave it alone, etc. We need to understand that there are SOOO many other things that we need to be focusing on. Our hair is BEAUTIFUL thing, no one can feel that more than me. I just need for us to KNOW that and stop trying to "fix it" because of what someone else is saying about it, whether that be "us" or not "us". I'll say it and keep saying it...DO YOUR RESEARCH, don't buy something just because a guru has it posted all over their website, blog, facebook page or youtube channel. Wear your hair the way it fits your lifestyle. If you live in Arizona, extra dryness will be factor. If you live in California, not so much. If you have 3 kids and are a stay at home Mom who home schools, you may not have "experiment time" and may need to rock protective styles, depending on if you are growing your hair out, or keeping it short, relaxed or natural. If you exercise 5 out of 7 days in the week, you WILL need to wet your scalp more to keep the nasty sweat and drying salt out of your hair. THINK people, please just sit back and THINK. (post all over the place, lol, hops off soapbox and wakes up the toddler)

Healthy haircare essentials

So one of my favorite hair care gurus is Naptural85, like y’all don't already know with how I am repping her every time I get a chance, in real life and online. She posted a video not too long ago about her natural hair essentials by way of tools, not products. I am so glad she posted this video because I think so many get caught up in products, that they forget about the items they use on a daily basis to keep their hair in order. The purpose of this blog post is just to have a little fun in comparing what I use to what she uses. I was doing this while at work and trying to listen to the video, so forgive me if I missed anything in her list on her video. Also, please excuse the typos.😉

Naptural85 uses the following: ---Curlformers, Ribbon ties, Satin scarves and pillowcases, beanie caps, bobby pins, shower mirror, spray bottle, wide tooth comb, Denman brush (modified), large shower cap, hair shears, duckbill clips, head scarves, hair catcher for the drain, drain snake, boar bristle brush, plastic processing caps, baby toothbrush, oversized claw clip--- The majority of everything she uses, I do, in fact use. I'll just go down the list and compare mine to hers. I'll also add some notes that I feel have been my essentials throughout the years: Curlformers - I tried the short knockoff version (Magic Leverag) of these years ago, couldn't get the hang of them, gave them away. After watching Whitney's vid, found the longer knockoff version for a ridiculously low price on Amazon ($12 for 40 magic leverag/curlformer knock offs ok?), used them, and had great success. Had I used a roller setting lotion, they would've last longer than one day LOL. Ribbon ties - I really like these, but I love my Satin scrunchies a lot better. ;) The ribbon ties I found were from Dollar Tree ($ 1 for either 5 or 6 in a pack) and recently I found some longer ones at Dollar Tree (about the size of a headband). These are GREAT for hair banding. ;) Satin scarves and pillowcases - I have about 4 to 5 satin pillowcases that I keep on rotation for sleeping and lounging. My baby has one, too ;). I have been using them since I was about 16 yrs old. I'm 37 now, just to let you know how long I've been sleeping on a satin pillowcase. It's a not so long story, maybe I'll post it someday. ;) I don't wear satin scarves very often, but when I do, it's usually under a beanie cap to keep the friction to a minimum. I have some 100% silk scarves as well, by way of my wonderful Mom-in-law, may she rest in peace. beanie caps – Yes! I always felt strange for wanting to wear these in EVERY season. Nap85 approved, lol! bobby pins – But of course, nothing else needs to be said.  shower mirror – Don’t have one, probably won’t get one being that I have become a master at doing my hair with my eyes closed, in and outside the shower, lol.  spray bottle – A must. Point.blank.period. wide tooth comb – Still have mine, but I am LOVING finger detangling right now. I didn't use a comb AT ALL between April and the beginning July of this year, until I semi-straightened in July. Denman brush (modified) – Still have this, I use it for baby girl. large shower cap – Don’t have one, don’t really use them. I usually wrap a tshirt around my head in the shower and try not to get it wet. hair shears – Yes, I am most DEFINITELY a self-trimmer. duckbill clips – I have a few of these lying around, still looking for some good sectioning clips. I used claw clips, plastic duckbills, metal duckbills, etc and nothing has stuck around. I do however LOVE my “fake-care” or "fakkare" (knockoff / fake ficcare) clips, for those of you who know what those are. ;) I have about 3 or 4 of them (one that I’ve had for over 7 years finally broke and went to glory.) These are awesome as sectioning clips, as well as updos, decoration for a bun or French roll, etc. **Update** I recently found one at Ulta, called a Karina Flamingo clip. It was $7 bucks and worth every penny. I now have two of them as Ulta just recently had their $ 3.50 off $ 10 purchase coupon going on and I got another one, along with a really cute headband. I painted one of them with Sinful colors nail polish in midnight blue and it is gorgeous! head scarves – have plenty of these, but I don’t sleep in them. I may tie one around my head under a beanie or when I’m cleaning and just washed my hair and don’t want dust or debris to get it in. They usually are on the floor in the morning when I try to sleep in them. My satin pillow case does me just fine.  hair catcher for the drain – yes, I have had a few of these, and lost a few, but yes, they are definitely a necessity. drain snake – yes, I have one of these too. boar bristle brush – I’ve had the same one for years, I use it every so often, but not a necessity of mine. plastic processing caps – Good ol plastic grocery bags do the job for me. ;) baby toothbrush – just started using one of these, my edges still don’t really “lay”, though. oversized claw clip – Have broken way too many of these. I use my Flexi-8 clip to hold all of this stuff. So that’s it! I hope you enjoyed some of my random-ness. Until next time, Peace Love and (no) hair grease! 

Product Junky-Ism!!!...Nah, not really ;)

Happy New Year!  Hey all, I hope the new year has been a great start for you all!  I am really excited about the New Year and my on again, off again, hair journey.  My goal this year is to retain as much length as I can, for me and my 3 year old, as her journey started as soon as she was born. :)  She loves her hair and I do my best to let her know, as often as possible, how beautiful her coils/curls/kinks are.

So on to my post.  Throughout my hair journey of approximately 13 years (Wow), I have seen a lot, done a lot, and researched A LOT.  It's amazing how products and techniques have come and gone, ingredients have continuously changed, some good, some not so good, and new products and tools seem to pop up every day in relation to the natural hair movement, etc. 

But even with all of the changes, there is one thing that remains the same....Product Junky-Ism.  It's almost comical how when someone posts a youtube video, or something on twitter or a blog, about how a certain store is discontinuing a certain line of products, and folks go running, lol!  I'm serious because I have been there and saw that curl enhancing smoothie on clearance for $ 3.24, don't pick it up because I don't need it, I don't care how cheap it is, just to go back in that area and the shelf has been snatched clean.

With that being said, I am not a product junky and haven't ever been, but I have learned over the past decade that if you find something you REALLY love/like, make sure you have a back up.  Because if you don't, you will look up one day and see that your favorite conditioner/shampoo/leave-in/deep conditioner/butter/cream has been discontinued, or the ingredients have been changed for the worst. Been there done that...WAY too many times to count.  For example, my favorite butter of all time back in the day was Kemi Oyl Shea Butter Pomade.  Without warning, it became harder and harder to find, and with no replacement, there I was, stuck. Eventually, after trying shea butter, mango butter, shealoe butter, avocado butter and Carol's daughter healthy hair butter, the last two became my faves.  After CD became too expensive for s&h, avocado butter became my staple and is what I still use to this day. :)

Another example, good ol' original Creme of Nature shampoo.  Need I say more?  I use the new Argan oil, sulfate-free one, but I am considering switching from it as well, being that it is literally the ONLY product left in my bathroom that contains parabens.  Yay for me!  Another example, for those of you that remember Salon Selectives Loosely Defined, it was an awesome styler in the early 2000s and it was soooo cheap!  After it was discontinued, naturals had a really hard time finding a replacement.  Remember, all of this was before Miss Jessie's, Curls, Kinky-Curly, As I Am, Camille Rose, Jane Carter Solution, Shea Moisture, etc even hit the scene.

Today, we have SOOO many options, but that can lead to some serious product junky-ism and empty pockets. Many of the products on the market today are awesome, but expensive.  I mean, some of these prices are jaw-dropping!  It discourages a lot of folk.  Folk that don't know that straight up water and vaseline/blue magic, good ol' school grease, will do the trick. :)  Seriously, it will work, but I wouldn't use that either, not on a regular basis, just because I know what works for me.  Unfortunately, there are those still on the hunt and their bathroom closets, drawers and cabinets are running over.

With all that being said, I've learned, throughout this journey, that that there is nothing wrong with doing something nice for yourself, every now and again, even if that means splurging a little on a hair or body product.
The key is once you find something that works, stick with it, but again, there is nothing wrong with a little back up. :)

Three pounds of Avocado Butter, oh my!

Hey all! Ok, ya'll know I LOVE me some avocado butter. For those of you who have followed my journey from it's beginning in 2001 (wow, such a long time ago), you all know that my timeline went something like this: The Year was 2002, found Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter and loved it! ------> became too expensive w/shipping, even after splitting cost w/ a friend that lived near me----> Fell in love with Kemi Oyl Shea butter pomade------> became harder and harder to find and order online--------------> Found fromnaturewithlove.com, tried a variety of butters like shea, shealoe, avocado **cheesing** and mango. Finished all of these containers to find that I was really feeling the avocado butter. The price, results, benefits...sold. So since then, which was around 2004 when I found avocado butter, it has been a STAPLE. Don't get me wrong, I have tried plenty of other "butter-esque" products since finding my AB (what I will refer to instead of typing "avocado butter" over and over again), and I tried making my own butter using oils, shea butter, Crisco (yep I tried it lol), etc, but have continuously come back home to my AB. So why this post? Well, through the years, I have consistently been ordering from ebay or etsy when it comes to my AB. I usually end up ordering from the same company or person. Off the top of my head, the person's name/company name on ebay and etsy is kessil2000. I have had zero problems from ordering from this person/company and the name of my AB is Dr. Adorable. The one thing I've noticed through the years is that they went from a bottle to a jar, which was PERFECT for me and I'm sure many others. I stopped ordering from fnwl.com because the prices seemingly skyrocketed overnight. I mean, I know it happens but I couldn't justify paying almost twice as much for something than I did the previous year. I know about supply and demand believe you me...PLUS...looking at all of the products on the shelves today, I can see, now, what was going on then. After trying a couple of other sites, I found etsy and ebay and the rest is history. So my favorite AB vendor is auctioning big containers of AB on ebay and I got a 3 lb. container for ((drumroll)) $ 26.50! Yes, I got 48 oz of AB for $26.50 (won the auction at $ 20.50 paid $ 6 s&h). Ya'll don't know how excited I was when that container showed up. As many know, I have a 3 year old girl child and she has a lot of hair. This bucket will last us for AT LEAST 2 years. I have always bought the 12-16 oz jars at about $10-12 dollars each, but THIS container? Need I say more? So that's it! Didn't mean to bore you guys but thanks for stopping by! :) Hope this helps out any AB junkies out there! ;)